Ailena's Little Corner of The World Wide Web.

Blogger

2011-10-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

It's good to be back on blogger.

It's the illest website to me.

It's my blog.

If you don't understand it then I say it's not for you to understand.
It's for me. My rants, my raves, for expressing my feelings, or whatever I want to say.

Please double check. You are at ailenav.blogspot.com

Paz gente. Adios amigos.

p.s. i forgot to change my font in the last post. smh i noticed tho

*think until you exhaust thought*

Happy Birthday Mom!

2011-10-21T03:31:00.000-07:00

I just have to take the time out to say, Happy Birthday, to my Mom.

Maybe she'll never see this blog post, but the fact that it's dedicated to her is what counts.

Random thought, but I was thinking the other day about what it would be like to write a sex column.
But now that I think back, Carrie Bradshaw was a sex column writer.

And for those of you who don't know, Carrie Bradshaw is the main character from Sex and the City played by Sarah Jessica Parker. Sex and the City was my one of my mom's favorite shows. So I was made to watch that show religiously, but I did enjoy it (after a while).

Her other favorite shows were Friends, The Sopranos, The L Word, Weeds, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit or Criminal Intent, and Snapped. Lol these shows pretty much describe her. So I'm fairly acquainted with these shows even though they are not my favorite shows. However, I digress.

But when my mom was my age, 21 years old and 51days, it was after my little brother Elijah's due date by about 5 or 6 days. Then the alotted amount of time passes, and she births my Nano. That's just crazy to think about. . . that if I were her in her age, I would be close to having a child, less than a week away actually.
And then whats really spectacular, and makes me think Damn! is that just 8 mos. later, she got me. Right before her 22nd birthday. And I had just turned 12.
I love you Mom.

In actuality, she is my cousin. My true mother's brother's daughter. But legally she became my guardian, never giving up on me until I was 18.

And when I first moved out to L.A, I really thought I was a triple og or something. I got straight A's my first semester at Hami. But then I started doing whatever I wanted. I hung out with all these cute ass thugs from some little gang or clic that was repped pretty hard there. It was the crew with the finest guys though. And I hung out with them, told my moms I wasn't coming home, told her I wanted to do what I wanted to do and she wasn't gonna stop me. She said fuck it. If you wanna do what you wanna do, fine. You can have your key and come and go as you please.

I said, okay. I hopped in the car with her and she drove my ass straight to Redlands.
That was the worst punishment ever. Luckily she came and picked me up two weeks later.
Redlands was boring af after going to L.A. I just didnt know anybody there anymore. Especially since all my friends were actually in Colton.
That was winter 10th grade.

But my Mom never gave up on me, but that's the closest she ever came. Oh, and on top of all that, my mother read the diary I had at the time. Why you so nosey daaaang?(*Dads voice*)
And she saw some evol stuff I had written. I always right for a certain imagenary audience. In a sense, myself.

But happy birthday mother, you have shaped me into the person I am today, and for that, I am forever thankful.

And her baby daddy too, Cj, Elijah's dad and my dad, kind of, he's always been there. If not physically, then financially. He's been there most of time for us, and he's too generous. In fact he pays my mothers $1400 rent now -__-
But she's finishing up her doctorate so she kind of needs it. She just finished the school part, all she has to finish is her internship hours. She's has to practice a certain amount of hours before she can graduate and be licensed. So next year around summer, she will graduate with a doctorate in pyschology? from The Chicago School of Professional Psychology. I'm muy proud of you mama!

I will love my Mom 'til death.

I mean, we are only 10, or 11, years apart. But certainly that'll mean like having to live 20 years without her. Certainly, I have been through loss before, and that made me realize that the death is a part of life. For the only that you are guaranteed when you are born, is that you will die.

And one last story about my dad that I meant to tell but then started talking about my mom.

So it was the day before I was moving up to San Francisco, and I went to my mom's new place in Santa Monica. Now she lives across the hallway from my dad, and on a slightly nicer street than she was on before. And I'm meeting them up for brunch.

And we went to some cafe that was bomb af in Samo, forget what it was called, I think Jack & Jill's. But idk. And my mom asked me a topic that was real close to heart. It made me cry.
And my dad was there, listening but not talking at this particular scene. I don't think he has forreal seen me cry. But he did.
And then we rode bikes back, and my dad rides a board, to my moms house. And when I was leaving, he totally pulled out his wallet and gave me a $100, just because. And i appreciate that.

I think he's the hardest person for me to accept money from, because it's just for nothing some times.

Generousity. Fuck wit it.

Anyways, Peace my peeps. Got some ish to do! SWAG Happy Birthday Mom! :)

*Tell them pussy clean, tell them pussy squeaky, lets bust this pussy open in the islands of Wakikiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii*
Love Nicki Minaj though
Vulgar af n i love it.

Stop, now make that mutherfuker hammertime.

Space

2011-10-07T02:04:00.000-07:00

ever since i can remember, ive had a love for space and the ocean

but the ocean gives me an eerie vibe everytime i think about going any further than beach, and idk why..

but space, i have so much more wonder for...
which led me to want to be an aerospace engineer, which ties my love of mathematics, sciences and space together. i literally wanted to be a rocket scientist.

but Fuck school.

no one can credit my knowledge or what i know, and stick a value on it.
the gov't wants ppl to think that unless they pay to go to a school thats accredited by them, and graduate, then u aint makin $$$. but believe what you wanna believe *shrug

i just dont condone the education system; and im lazy af. if i find something to be uninteresting, then it automatically has the magical quality of putting me to sleep.

and if anyone watched Steve Jobs' commencement address to Stanford(?) he straight up starts off by saying he didnt graduate college. he said he dropped out, and began taking classes he was actually interested in. i guess he sat in on classes that HE wanted to learn about, and for free.

but anyways, back to my topic, space.

along with my love for space, mathematics, and science, also comes my love for aircraft.

everytime i hear a plane or helicopter, my eyes look to the sky.

in particular, the sound of air particles being divided, then smashing back into each other at an accelerated pace, and a high altitude has always been fascinating to me. the sound captivates my being into a state of temporary paralysis from awe.

and i draw perfect five -point stars. this comes from years of filling up pices of notebook paper with them.
and my mom use to bitch at me like wah wah 'why do u like stars so much? u thought ur mom was a star?' wah wah wah
[i'll never forget that she said that. kinda a low blow]

but i said, idk, i just do. which was true.

anyways, this brings me to Patrick.
not that anyone reading this would know him, but i still miss this dude.

Patrick is one person i will never forget. he was my mastermind in crime, if me and him put our minds together, we could take over the world.

and Patrick was the first person to ever hand me a real piece of literature.
He was very well-read and knowledgeable. and before he handed me a book, i had to beg. and i mean BEG. over at least a couple of weeks before he gave me something to read. and he warned me before he gave me my book that it was a dark book, and to stay in the light while i read it.

and indeed it was a dark book. for if in the wrong hands, darkness would prevail.

but i loved it.
and along the way, Patrick introduced me to a lot of books. most of which, he would not me even let me touch, but only shared excerpts.

and one book i asked him about, he said he had read, but that was all he ever told me about it.
that book was Dianetics be L. Ron Hubbards
so in the past week, this book, along with others, popped into my mind.
so i search for this book, and on the Dianectics website i put in my info to be sent an excerpt.

so i get a call from the Church of Scientology down the street, they invite me in to show me around.
so tonight i made an 8-block walk there to meet Barbara.
basics: Scientology, is the study of knowledge. dianetics is the science of mental health.

she showed me videos, we talked, and i filled out some papers, blah blah blah
but all i really wanted to see was a excerpt from the book.

the book was there, and they had like 20 other books by him, but i didnt get a good look. i just read the table of contents and a page or two, and the summary, but i thirsted for more.

so i asked the lady so many questions that i think i confused her lol
but anyways, i want to get the book, and another book, but perhaps, it may be one or other, or none at all. i'll see.

...and the sad thing about Patrick, is i have no idea where he's at right now. i mean i have a general idea, but i have no means of contacting him now. que triste.
but i know i'll run into him sooner or later so im not trippin

anyways be peace people.

Its been sometime,

2011-10-07T00:22:00.000-07:00

but we meet again blogger.

i was on my tumblr account the other day when i decided to write a paragraph or two, and you know with me, thats like 1000 words, so i post it up and it erases, wtf?

the title was there, but the text wasnt.

i was pisssed.

i dislike wasting time.

plus i really like my layout, so i didnt want to change anything because tumblr can be confusing.

but FUCK tumblr.

i remember when i first set it up it took 2-3 days. and all that time in between it was workin my nerves like no other.

but i am restarting my blogspot, which will be text only, and saving all the pics/videos for tumblr, or the endangered facebook

.. and about that subscribe button... is that a yeigh or neigh? lol

ima say nah.

i mean ppl just nosey, but everybody has to go through screening.

just send me a friend request n lets keep this ish simple.

anyways,

im back on bloGGGer! and with that being said,

paz gente.

ps. i read all my old posts for fun, n i loved it all.

but an older me= new font

i have a different voice now :D lol

fucking shit!!!!!!

2009-02-08T04:15:00.000-08:00

i should really blog.

but oh well,

one day when i have time, i shall.

PEACE!!!!<3

Arrrggghhhh!!!

2008-11-13T09:08:00.000-08:00

I HATE BANK OF AMERICA!!

All I want to do is use my card, but it's not working for some reason!
It's saying I have an invalid PIN.

But I don't!

Well the gist of it is, I went to the B of A branch on Sepulveda/National.

And the guy that helped me was a staight-up asshole.

IDK why, maybe he was having a bad day...

But Fuck That Shit!!!

If anything I should've been upset because I didn't have access to my money, when I needed it.

But no. In no way did I express any anger towards him, I was actually quite polite.

And that useless motherfucker couldn't help, except tell me to go to the Culver City BofA and be a rude asshole piece of shit!!!

So Fuck That Bitch!!!!!

LOLZ!

That reminds of the South Park, where Randy, Stan's dad, takes the biggest poop ever, and then gets into the Guiness(or whatever) Book of World Records, but then gets defeated by the original guy because he took the biggest pooped and I guess like raised it, and stuff, and the poop grew up to be Bono!!

So Bono is the biggest piece of shit ever!!Literally!

Lol!

I miss that show fer suuuure!
<3

Well even though it may have seemed that I was kind of angry in the beginning of my blog entry, I'm actually quite happy! =)

Oh, and I forgot to mention that between all this, I saw Whoopi!

He directed me to that BofA with his GPS app on his iPhone!

So, thanks to him, I ended up at the shitty BofA, with a cunt!!!!!!

Lolzzz!!!

But really thanks!! Because I actually ended up getting to class on time!!

That was a miracle!!

God really does exsist!!!!

=/

....Well, right now I am quite bored waiting for the carpet cleaning guy to come so our carpets can look all clean and new-ish and stufff!!

But he's taking forever!!!

I gotta go to BofA!!!
[Not the same one!! hecks no!!]

Then I gotta go to work!!

Great fun!!!

...I wish!!...

WELL ANYWAYS,

PEACE FOR THE MIDDLE EAST!
<3

Hopefully my day will be good, and BofA better fix my shiiiiit!CUUUH!

lolz! paz gente!!

Super excited!!!

2008-11-07T20:52:00.000-08:00

I'm really excited because tomorrow my brother's girlfriend, Gaby, is having her baby shower!

My niece, Alyza Vargas, is due in early Decemember! But I'm hoping she will come early!!=D

It's just super exciting because I finally have a niece!!

And I love Gaby and I'm happy that my brother's girlfriend, the mother of his child and the mother of my niece is such a great person.

Quite honestly, I believe my brother is lucky to have a girl like her.

..And off-topic, it's super funny that the Republicans are all fighting between each other over Palin's shopping spree fiasco!!

Hahahahaha!

WELL
PEACE FOR THE MIDDLE EAST!!

Couldn't Have Said it Better

2008-11-06T00:41:00.000-08:00

If you missed Sen. Obama's speech last night,

I strongly suggest that you google it, you tube it, something, and watch it!

I mean, if neccessary, I can sum it up for you and translate:

He basically said,

"We've been told for decades that we could not and that we would not; those rednecks even think to this day that we cant, all I'll say is 'Yes, we can.'"

Of course, those words aren't word for word, but I think you still get the point ;)

And please, nobody get me wrong and think I'm prejudice or judging people by the color of their skin , just because I use the term "rednecks".

Its just my way in being brutually honest in saying that, yes, there are white people out there that are racist, that judge you and dislike you for having a different color of pigment in your skin, that are very conservative and close-minded, that think that the way they formulate and analyze their opinions is the best way, and in their mind should be the only way...and guess what they also might just happen to have red necks.

And yes, I do dislike their way of thinking.

And yes, there probably are some black people out there and latinos that think that way too..

And still, I dislike their analysis as well!

My point is that most of the people who think that way, are white, may live in the South and probably have rednecks. That's all.

If you disagree or feel I'm being in some way prejudice, all I can say is it's simply my opinion.

Back to Obama,

I couldn't be any happier and excited to have some one different in the white house.

I think that one of the only other past presidents that can compare to him was President Lincoln.

President Lincoln was open to new ideas, different views and knew that there was more than two ways to view a situation; there's infinite.

Obama is the exact same way.

And Obama knows he resembles Lincoln in this sense, because he quoted Lincoln in his speech.

What is that cliche saying?
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?

Something like that...

I believe Obama will follow in his footsteps, and do something for this country to surpass what Lincoln did for this country [primarily for the blacks of our country]...

He will be what a real president is suppose to be.

Not someone we make a mockery of.

Someone to look up to, who is looked at as a leader, who we look to for hope, who will do what it takes to truly make America a country where there is fredom, liberty and justice for all...

Yes, we can.

....

Yes, we did.

Election Day Part 4

2008-11-04T20:03:00.000-08:00

OBAMA WINS!!!!

OBAMA FTW!

Defintiely just watched history go down!!!

I couldn't be more excited!!!!

Im tooo excited!!

We finally have a black president!!

The 44th president of the United States!!

OBAMA
OBAMA
OBAMA!!!

too excited to get my thoughts straight! geeeez!
Obama '08

Election Day! Photobooth!

2008-11-04T12:18:00.000-08:00

All the pictures are all out of order and all switched around...But basically, I started off all happy andd goofy, then I started trying to be all hot and sexy for the camera. I dont even know how I got there.Lol!
But I decided that I had to take some pictures today just for memories.
[Clearly my first time uploading pics to blogger]=D =D

Obama '08

Election Day Pt. 2

2008-11-04T11:20:00.000-08:00

I just got back from voting!!!

I did my part and hopefully Obama wins by a landslide!!!

We'll have to wait to see!

I'm super excited!!

And the the wait in line was only an hour and thirty-five minutes, which wasn't too bad...

OBAMA '08
FTW!

Election Day!

2008-11-04T08:59:00.000-08:00

Well I'm heading to the poles myself right now..

OBAMA '08

I really hope that he is elected.

It's funny, because I have never been excited about a presidential election in my life!

But I'm super excited for this one!!

McCain/Palin....

Hmmmmmm....
I would never vote for that combination, because with that vote, comes the posssibility of Palin being the President of the United States.

And she just is not qualified for that postion.

The position of the President is something that you are either qualified for, or not.

And she is not.

You cannot be partially qualifed, you must be fully qualified.

We, American citizens, can't put all of our trust into something that has a chance of failure, especially if that something is being the President of this country. Someting very crucial to our country as a whole.

Even if the chance of Palin taking office has a probability of 0.000001%

I'm definitely not willing to take that chance.

Also,
I think it's time for a change.

We've already had so many white redneck conservative presidents, to be quite honest, and it's just time to try something different, something new.

Someone, younger, intelligent,

cultured,

....

someone black!

I mean, not necessairly just because he's black...

but because he represents a lot of us Americans ...

not all of us are white.

There's some of us who are mixed ethnicities.

Who identify themeselves with more than just one race...

Who speak english and another language or two..

have been to different countries...

And are just as smart, creative, hard-working, and successful as white people.

And we need to be recognized too!

OBAMA '08
FOR A CHANGE!

WOAAHHH!

2008-11-01T19:16:00.000-07:00

Havent blogged in like foreverzzzzz!
Lol!

BUT I 'm in a good moood so I decided to blog just to say I probably won't be blogging in a while! Ha!

Yeah...but ever since I've got my new job I've beeen busy busy busy!!!

But i get good hours! so thats good! :)

PEEEEAAACCCE :]]]

So Sad.

2008-09-21T03:05:00.000-07:00

Travis Barker and DJ AM.

Plane Crash.

I heard a little bit about it on my way to the beach today...

Apparently,

Travis Barker is burned from waist down.Idk how bad.

And DJ AM has about 50 percent of his body burned, apparently his face is burned badly.

OUCH.

Que trista.

Life. I guess it happens to us all...

Peace.

School is cool!

2008-09-16T01:54:00.000-07:00

Well, before I go to sleep, I just wanted to say how super awesome school was today!!

No particular reason, just was, if you know what I mean.

I stayed awake all day, probably 'cause I didn't wake up at the crack of dawn(aka 7:00am)!!!

But yeah, a highlight in my day was this nice guy.

I have in my english class, and he always smiles at me and stuff.

SO, today we get out of english...I get out of the class, go inside the restroom and come out literally like five seconds later...and he's rollin by with a jolly rancher in his hand.

He offered it to me in exchange for my name.

I was like: deal!

And then he said I had to be his friend 'cause he didn't have any.

And then he told me I was fly!
That was a first.
I already knew that, so I was like thanks.
lol
Then I said goodbye.

But daaannng!
This is the second time a dude in a wheel-chair thingy has hit on me at SMC!
The first one was hilarious though!=D

But this one was choc-o-late!!!
MmmmmmHmmmmm!

JKJK!

Yeah...but school was awesome....other then a few minor things...

Ohhh..plus I saw Ryan Jones!!!

He like literally jumped on me as I was just innocently walking!

But whoa!I miss that guy so much! And he goes to SMC so I'll be seeing him...

and I had my statistics exam!=[

I really hope I did good on that test....because math matters to me more than any other subject...'cause i love it!!

But I'd be happy if I got a high "C" , because I think thats the highest I can get...since I still don't have a textbook and spent hours in the library just doing homework, not really studying...

And, plus I joined the class late

plus, I can always drop this score, so its all good!!

But tomorrow will indeed be a busy day.
SO,

PEACEEE!!!!

Super Bored.

2008-09-11T01:37:00.000-07:00

Randomness.

I dislike that dog.

I dislike Vicky.

Tomorrow should be interesting.

Eli's fucking rad!

Where the fuck is Mel?

I need Rush Street.

I need twofiveok.

Im bored.

I should be at dennys.EFF I-HOP.

Hash browns=]

I need a pc.personal chef.

I actually need to stop eating!lol

I miss jenn and george.=[

Justin, where da hexx is michaelangelo and dontello?

I want a rabbit now too.FYI

Why would you shave your facial hair if you had some?
=[

IM DONE FOR NOW.

PEACE YO.

p.s. apple juice is super awesome!!!

yeah.

2008-09-06T00:32:00.000-07:00

my blog pretty much sucks...

maybe i'll make it all fancyish and pretty one day when i'm super bored.

well...

i was so planning on going to the spliff tonight ...

but then when the time came to go, i was like super lazy and tired....and decided not to go..

and now i cant go to sleep!!!

WTF???
i'm mad, because i could have totally went.

oh well.

next time...

The job.

2008-09-01T12:08:00.000-07:00

I hate it.

I'm quitting.

Be peaceful.

18.

2008-08-31T15:37:00.000-07:00

Wow.

I feel super old now!

No, not really.

But, no complaints, I enjoyed myself yesterday.

Today is the last day of August=(

How sad. I love August.
& I'll miss it.

But things don't look too shady for September!
Lots of
DANCE!<3

Me and mel went for the first time last tuesday, and had a super awesome time!!

Hopefully I'll get my license so I can legally drive...that would be nice!

and also the Spliff!

And I actually know someone who is performing this time.
>If only poor ole Olympia was here!lol

It would suck if it got shut down again!

And probably many more things and of course the daily drive around Hollywood and Santa Monica with Ab and Anna getting lost.
They're classic.

Ok. I'm tired of typing now.

So peace out people!

Ranting.

2008-08-28T23:25:00.000-07:00

Some how I have managed to not to be so mad....

But I still want to talk about what pissed me offf today at work...

Well...my day started off magnificent at work...it was nice and fun ....

Then I walked into the back and hear two of my co-workers agreeing that they didn't feel comfortable around two other people while talking to my boss.

So I was just being nosey , and I asked who they were talking about....

and one tells me that it was two managers, one a former manager, and one that is a current manager.

I'm not kidding you when I say I was immediately astonished when I heard their names come out of her mouth.

I even asked her is she was kidding.

All-in-all, they had no reasons for bad-mouthing those people.

One of the former managers, that was let go, was a super great person.
So fuck whatever you think. She was more commited to her job than anyone there. And if you know her, then you could say that without a doubt. And she was there for us outside of work and still is.

Then the girl really did it when she tried to soften it up by saying that she didnt know her that well...

WTF?
Another reason why you shouldnt be talking right now.

Then I told the boy that it was wrong to bad-mouth people.

And he replied with the dumbest thing ever.Seriously.

He said that he didn't care, as long as he still had a job.
Wtf?

And then I told him how selfish he was to make such a statement and do such a thing.And then I told him how fucked the world is because it's full of people like him.

Luckily for him he didn't say anything else.

Also, they bad-mouthed a person that still works there.Wtf?

Now that's shady.

They don't even know him well enough to give a true opinion on the guy!

They mostly just know what they hear about him. And don't always believe what you hear.

Also, I really wanted to tell them that if they don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. Didn't your mom teach you that one?

Be professional.

And I know my boss didn't directly ask them their opinions.

She probably prompted them, and they were dumb enough to take the bait.

They may have thought that it would get them in good with the bosss, but I actually think it did the opposite.

Now she knows how easy it is to get information out of you...and she either thinks one you're stupid and/or that you can't be trusted with information because your mouth runs....and she probably thinks you're shady like me for bad-mouthing a co-worker for no damn reason.
You didnt get anything out of it did you?
Beneficial?

Nope.

And it bothered me all day at work because I just kept thinking about it.

I couldn't stop.

These people I thought were hella cool are actually hella shady.

They bad-mouth people for no reason.

Are they gonna pull this shit on me next?

Especially because I was super mad at them and even a little rude.

The rookies have definitely out-numbered the veterans.

My days at Cold Stone are numbered.

Haha!What has this world come to?

Lol

Be peace people & non-shady!!

Super Funny!

2008-08-20T00:49:00.000-07:00

Tundae posted this video in a myspace bulletin!!And it is super hilarious!! Im a fan!!

You should definitely watch it if you haven't yet!!

And I've been working a lot, so I haven't blogged in a while.

Also, I will have a niece soon, I'm so excited!
My big brother Andrew is having a baby girl due in December with his girlfriend, Gabrielle!

Also, I'm moving out pretty soon, seeing that I will be 18 pretty soon.

I'll be living with two of my best friends, Anna and AB!!COOL!!We'll be living close to the beach [I heard]! They already got the place, I just gotta check it out! And I'll probably be moving out at the end of this month!!And they just got the place like two days ago!

And other than that, there's not really anything new with me.

Plus, I'm pretty sure I'll be getting a car soon!Within the next month!For sure!
License or not!But I'll try to get my license first and if I can't get it in a month, then screw it!Lol

Anyways, it has been a long day, and I need some rest, so

Peace people!

Cuil.com

2008-07-29T17:57:00.000-07:00

Basically, some people who use to work for google that quit, launched a new website yesterday called Cuil.com.
[Pronounced "cool"]

It's suppose to be the equivalent of google, but dark and mysterious, whatever that's suppose to mean.

Anyways, you should check it out just to see whats up!=)

Oh, and ironically enough, I found out about this from my mom. Wierd. I know.

Peace, for the Middle East!!!=]]

Google Me!!!

2008-07-18T12:12:00.000-07:00

Now that's legit!!!

I'm active!

=)

"Ailena Vargas"

^Google it!

+

Also, if you haven't seen this yet, it's hilarious.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRmFEpl74sI

Good for the soul!
Hahahaha!!!!
In a good mood today!=]]

PEACE!!!

myspace.com/tabibonney

2008-07-18T11:39:00.000-07:00

Legit stuff.

West African.

Nice video.

"Cool.And.Fly."

myspace.com/tabibonney

See for yourself.

peace.

LIFE

2008-07-17T18:35:00.000-07:00

*Sigh.

I just figured out my blogging pattern. I only blog when I feel like shit.

When I feel powerless.

Defeated.

Anger.

Sadness.

Love/Hate.

Emotional.

Down.

Hurt.

Just so many things multiplied inside that cause destruction.

Destruction to the soul.

I 've been up for awhile now, seeing that I haven't blogged in forever, but as the law of physics state, what goes up, must come down.
And It feels like it came down at a greater acceleration too.

Well, situations.

One of my best friends ever, ever , ever, on this beautiful Earth is leaving me behind.

So sad, so sad, so sad.

I've known for a while now, but it was so unrealistic to me that this day would ever dare to approach me.
And here it is;
and I feel some sort of unstability.

I love this guy like my own family;
no,
he is my family.

He's truly been the best friend I have ever had, and he's taught me life lesssons.
Thank you.
I appreciate him more than he'll probably ever know.

...
Other situations.

I've felt so bad and sad that another one of my best friends has been mad at me lately.
Well, since yesterday evening.

I asked him a question, half jokingly[yeah, I know, not an actual word]
and he got really upset at me.

Realllly upset.

Had I known he would take offense to it, or be insulted, then I would have never even mentioned it. Joke, or no joke.

I care about my friends. They should really know that.

But, that has also been bothering me since it has happened.

oh yeah,
I Seriously have seven best friends. 3 girls, 4 guys.
So yeah just in case you were wondering.

....

And for the whole blogging when I'm down kind of thing is kind of true.

It's like my open diary, except if it were a diary, these "situations" would have real names.

I call it self-therapy.

Sometimes, no one can listen. no one can care.

And then, just writing it down has always helped for some strange, unclear reason.

......
*Another sigh.

I hope who ever is reading this, has a better life.

Be PEACE.

Forgot To Mention...

2008-06-21T00:43:00.000-07:00

My brothers are so lovely, neither made it to my graduation.

One, apparently is in jail, Andrew. [Making his yearly visit].

The other, Antonio, didn't know is was on Thursday, he got confused.
I actually feel bad, because he wanted to be there. =(
And I really wanted him there.
Whatev.
I guess I'll have to wait 'til next time.

PAZ.

Congratulations!!!

2008-06-21T00:17:00.000-07:00

TO:
Alyssa! She officially works at Cold Stone!!!!Whooo hooo!

TO:
Daniel! Her boyfriend! Who I still don't know, but see all the time...Yea, I'm not very social...
But I heard he won a scion, which is freakin' awesome!!! [Hopefully] I'll be getting one, whenever I learn how to drive...

TO:
Whoever graduated from any school, anywhere, and is a part of the class of 2008!

My loves[other than Hamilton people] include:

Sheree- Graduated from CSUSB with her bachelor's in Business Administration.
Mom-Graduated from Pepperdine University with a Masters in Clinical Psychology[I think] or Cognitive Psychology, or both [One of the three]
Elijah-Graduated from Kindergarten from Palms Elementary
Grandma-Ministry School or something.IDK.
Kenneth- Graduated 8th grade, probably from...IDK...A school back in Redlands.
Justin<3- Graduated from Culver City High School!

That's it!

may PEACE be with you.

Graduation!

2008-06-20T12:03:00.000-07:00

I finally did it!
We finally did it!
And we "finally conquered the deliquency list!"-Elisa
That was funny!

Graduation was fun!
But since I was in the front, it was really boring waiting for everyone else to go and I really wanted some water!
So since it was boring, other people in the front thought it'd be fun to do the wave!
We did, and it was really fun!
Especially since we were in competition with the other side...
The funniest part of that was when Emon said, "We're gonna [beat] the other side...EVERYBODY, JUMP TWICE"...everybody did, so it was fun!!
It made sitting there a lot better...

Then the throwing of the hats was fun!!!!
My mom got it on tape! yeah!!!!

After, I was walking around trying to take pictures with the few select people I wanted to remeber from high school...I couldn't find a few of them,which made me sad.=(
*[Antoine]

Then I went to Roscoe's with my best friends.
I went with Jessika, Olympia and Ab.
It was okay. I really wasn't in the mood for it, so I ate half of a waffle.

Then, I didn't know where the party was at, so I spent the night at Olympia/Evan-Alex's house.
It was boring, and I fell asleep.
Haha! I slept in Alex's bed and he doesn't even know!

Then Olympia left for Vegas at like 5AM the next morning...
Then I was there, and my battery was drained, so I was screwed.
I needed to call my mom, but Allyson was asleep and I didn't want to ask his mom because she had company....
so yea...I eventually got home...
And they have the cutest little brother, Eli.
So cute. I'd trade anyday.
Plus I found out he likes to sleep in on the weekends!
Hell Yeah!!!!

Anyways, today,
I'm suppose to be accompanying underclassmen to the beach...
fun.

Oh, speaking of which, Tundae left the freakin' ceremony. Douchebag. Whatev. He missed out.

Anyhow..Graduation was fun. Can't wait to get my summer started, and if anyone wants to see my graduation photos[more to come], then please follow the link below:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=28857&l=978e4&id=608664505

Have fun this summer!!!

Peace!

Horrible Day...

2008-06-18T17:48:00.000-07:00

My day was shitty, even though I still manage to be happy. Wierd.
But that's just probably because I'm graduating tomorrow!!!
I'm super excited!

But, yea, my day was crap!
First I went to my little brother Elijah's "gradulation" from kindergarten...
Which was boring as all hell,
Then I went to the mall to pick up some things,
but couldn't find anything...
so I wasted a lot of time there.

Then I came home to get my I.d. card just in case I needed it to get extra
tickets for graduation, and as I'm walking in my house, my mom calls me and tells me my brother had an accident at school, so I had to stay there until she came...

Which ultimately resulted in me having to take him with me.
It was super hot waiting in line especially when people are all over you,
and cutting and crap.
Especially smelly teenagers...
Getting extra tickets was a bitch.
And I only got three!
I need like 6 more, so if anybody out there could help me out, I'd really appreciate it.

The whole "getting extra tickets" thing was horrible.

Then I almost killed Elijah.
Sometimes he can act like he was raised without any kind of dignity.
I really wanted to choke him,
but no, I decided to spare his life today.
....
That's basically how my day went.

Graduation tomorrow!
Best day of my life!
I'm not joking.

Can't wait!
And where's the party at?

PEACE!

"Yeah Nigga That's My Bitch...

2008-06-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

so when she ask for the money when you get through, don't be surprised bitch "

So vulgar.
So dirty.
So disrespectful.
Yet,
I LOVE IT!<3

Weezy. Creative.

THA CARTER III.

Peace ,
for the Middle East! =)

Random...

2008-06-15T02:18:00.000-07:00

[Sigh]
I just feel like randomly talking about random things. Very tired.

Hmmmm...
Well yea, I still have Tundae's music on my i-pod and there's this song that is just so beautiful...man, so beautiful.
I can't even explain it.
Geniunely beautiful.
Eminem's song to his daughter:
"Halie's Song".
It's just about how much love he has for his daughter,
And how even though he has all these problems,
just a simple look at his daughter makes his world so much better.
It's beautiful.

I know what he means too.
Because I remember the one day I fought with an old friend of mine,
a lot, and I mean a lot of things went wrong that day ...not just the fight...
I went home and cried my eyes out harder than I had ever cried before and I felt so sad and miserable, never felt worse in my life...I cried really hard for like an hour. One of the worst days of my life....
I went to go pick up my brother from school....
I just looked at him...
and I felt better immediately.

I smiled.

I can't really explain it,
but I just looked at him
and loved that he didn't have any problems like me,
loved that he was so nonchalant about everything,
and loved that he was happy.
Like I previously said, I can't really explain it.
But just one look at him , and my problems flew out the window.

He's the one guy that I truly love.

And for the people out there who don't know,
my brother is like a son to me.
I have helped to raise my brother a lot.
I have done so much for him and sacraficed so much for him.
I've sacraficed my [social] life and even my grades...

But to me it doesn't matter...
If you really love some one, you'd do anything for them without hesitation and without caring about yourself...
It's crazy how you can love some one more than yourself....
Crazy.

And the other day, yesterday to be specific, I was talking with Tundae.
I was just telling him about how I feel about America.
I don't feel like it's "home".
If that makes any sense.
I just feel out of place.
IDK.
Anyways, after college I'm moving out East.
Middle East to be exact.
I think I know which country I'm moving to, but one can never be too sure.
I have never been to the middle east, but I feel like if I ever did it would feel like home.
Blah, Blah, Blah...
I think this whole "I don't feel at home" thing has just resulted from me not knowing where I came from....except having people try to tell me my whole life.
Yeah, I don't think anyone can really identify with what I'm saying except Tundae...

And about him...
he deserves some "credit"...
he's always been a good friend to me ,
[well except once but he's excused from that since I understand why he acted like he did],
but yea, he has always been such a good friend,
I can call him with any problem, he'll listen...
and I don't know who else I can really say that for....
And i'm thankful for him.
But i always wasn't the bestest friend to him,
that I can admit,
and for that I'm sorry.
It was just that when him and her broke up,
we were all bestfriends,
and being the dumbass I am ,
I chose sides.
Unintentionally, of course,
nevertheless I did.
And I chose the wrong side.
Anyways, Tundae, you are such a great friend
and I really don't know what I'd do, or who I'd bitch at
if you weren't around. Love you girl!!!

I feel like I have written enough for right now.
I know my writing is choppy, but my mind thinks faster than I write.=)

And I'm so happy!Alyssa will be working at Cold Stone this summer! Whooo hooo!
And probably Tundae too!
"Donde estan las frescas?"
It's a stupid joke, from a long time ago....

Anyways..
Peace peeps!

p.s.
Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III,
Favorite songs: 3 Peat, A Milli, Phone Home, Got Money...the rest are cool too.=)
P.s. Ab is cool! He keeps me on Earth!

...

2008-06-14T14:00:00.001-07:00

Finally Back...

2008-05-30T10:15:00.000-07:00

My computer at home is really messed up....so that's why I haven't blogged in a while.
Right now I'm blogging from school, because I'm bored and no one is in class since it's the day of prom.....not even the guys.

Anyways, I've been really wanting to blog about the Lollipop Remix By Lil Wayne and Kanye.
...Yeah, it's old, but I still haven't been able to put in my two cents...

I think it's kinda funny.
I love Ye....But wow, Wayne really put shame to him...
and no one probably wouldn't have noticed it unless Ye mentioned it:
(from my memory) Ye says:
"You ain't finna murder me like everybody else, I'm gonna rap like I got some tight respect for myself"
or something like that...
and Wayne didn't really reply,
but he surely showed him that he's can be better than him...
and in the song, Wayne says:
(again, from my memory, I don't know if it's exact)
"I got so much chips,
I swear they call me Hewlett-Packard.
I got so much chips,
you can have a bag if you're a snacker"
Which is just funny and creative...

But I'm not necessairly saying that Weezy is better than Ye, but definitely in that song Weeezy is better.
I love Ye.

AND About Ye's video for "homecoming"...
I was disappointed...
I love that song, it's my favorite song on the "Graduation" album.
And everyone always asks me, like why is that your favorite song?
And I say because it tells a story... of rememberence of some one he loved.
I think it's nice. And Chris Martin doesn't hurt either!
Anyways, his video was a disappointment.
I don't even really remember it, because I watched it once a long time ago and haven't bothered to watch it again since...
All I remember is him standing somewhere like in the same place and there were effects, Chris Martin was in it too, and Common was in it trying to hard to do something , I don't even know what he was doing, but he was just annoying and trying to hard...
Sorry to all the Commom fans...

Enough about that....and also
Kid Cudi has a new song...
Chillest song I've ever heard.
I love it....

I suggest you listen to it....
you can either search him on myspace, or you can check on my myspace becasue his song's on there!
The song is "Day 'N' Nite"

Check it out...
and if you haven't heard the Lollipop remix yet...
I know Alyssa posted a link to it a while ago on her blog

lifeofadawn.blogspot.com

so check that song out and her blog...

Anyways, hopefully I'll be able to get my computer fixed and then be able to blog more...
On my officially picture-less blog!

PEACE!

p.s. Sex and the City tonight! Excited....reserved seating at the Bridge with my lovely mom, who somone,no names, believes is a MILF! Haha....I laughed thinking about that....peace again...

Bad Day.

2008-05-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

My day actually wasn't so bad, because I really don't let stuff get me down, but it was pretty shitty.
I let my friend borrow my i-pod.
I get it back with all my shit erased, when I specifically said "don't erase my shit".

Well, I normally wouldn't care, but I'm pissed.

When I first got my i-pod, I didn't know how to use limewire, but I used it anyway, which led to me fucking up my computer....so my computer had to get re-built....so I then synced my whole library(WHICH I BOUGHT EVERY SINGLE THING IN FROM THE iTUNES STORE) to my i-pod so I wouldn't lose it....
so my computer got rebuilt and stuff...but I didn't finish syncing it all back into my new library..

Basically...all that money went down the drain....

whatever...im over it now....

But then me and Mel went shopping.

I had like 300 bucks with me .....

I went to register to pay and I found out that I had lost 200 bucks!

I was so mad.

But then I just figured what goes around, comes around...

I lose money, I find money.

Mel said "just be happy you have your vagina"
(I guess she thought it would cheer me up)

but I got happier after we had some funny moments in the car...

Anyways,

PEACE!

To A Friend....

2008-04-30T21:46:00.000-07:00

Yup.
Haven't blogged in a while, haven't had any thing to blog about.
"I don't understand your blog".
Well my comment to you then, is that my blog isn't really for you, or for you to understand; it's for me.
For me to vent, to create posts when I'm bored, tell about myself or experiences, that's all.
And I do it for the people who are interested in taking a peek at what goes on in my mind.
I actually believe that no one reads through my blog, because it's not the cliche thousand-picture, newest clothing line, pictures of art blog.
Whatev.
New Topic.
Man!My friends are dropping like flies!
And I don't even have that many.
Shit! I just feel like I lost one of my really good friends...
And I swear people are so heartless...
they don't even care...
but something like this takes a toll on me....
like when I finally realized Karla wasn't really my friend any more, I was depressed for like a whole week, and even cried a little too, and she wasn't even like my close friend or anything...
but now to think that I lost someone who I think of as one of my best friends....
it hurts...
and it's not that hurtful, because that person has been a total douche lately,
but nevertheless, it hurts....
and also because I lost them over their own selfish ass reasons hurts anymore.
If I was as selfish as a person as this person is over themself,
then I'd probably have no friends...
anyways I'd just appreciate my i-pod back...
that's all I have to say right now,
I'm kinda out of it.
Peace.

p.s. i'm newly a vegetarian for those who dont know!
proud to say that this i have been one for over two weeks now!

Pictureless Blog!?

2008-04-02T18:15:00.000-07:00

Yup!
For now my blog must be pictureless because I left my camera at my tia's house, and IDK when I'll get it back. But I like it this way, because it makes my blog more about me and personal.
Peace.

TryVeg.Com

2008-03-30T00:06:00.000-07:00

Well, I got home from work and I saw this presausive commercial about becoming a vegetarian. It showed animals being hurt and stuff and it was sad. I felt bad. That kind of stuff makes me want to be a vegetarian. I don't eat meat very much; I only eat steak, chicken in the benihana fried rice (I've been going there a lot recently), and pork. But I dont eat it very often. Anyways, even if I was a vegetarian, it wouldn't stop the animals from suffering...unless there was a law against it, people will never stop killing animals...because that's money and everybody is money-hungry. Yup, so to me it's an everlasting effort. I wish there was something I could do about it that would actually help, because I'd do it. But in reality, I can't do anything. Plus, I crave steak if I go to long without it.
And today right before I went into work, this guy approached me. I was listening to my i-pod, and he turned aroud, smiled, and held this card up at eye-level. I tried to talk to him, but he didnt say anything, he urged me to read the card by a gesture. I read it, and it said something to the extent that he was deaf, and was selling these cards that taught you the alaphabet in sign-language. He was obviously deaf, it wasn't a scam. But when I read it, my heart sank. And the card said you could buy it for how ever much you wanted to, so I gave him five bucks.I felt so bad. Because if you think about what can deaf people do to earn a living?IDK. But that kind of stuff makes me want to help the whole world. I try to give back by all means possible, but sometimes I feel like it's not enough. And homeless people make me sad too. But with them I figure that if they truly wanted help, they could find it. They have to want to help themselves before they can ask others. So that's that.
And work was pretty fun today. Mel's first day. She said she had fun. And we saw Alyssa and her boyfriend, Daniel, who I don't know. And I saw a few othere people I knew too.
Yea, working for seven hours was pretty much my day...

That's all, Until next Time...
Peace.

I Know...

2008-03-27T20:27:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a WHILE. Well here's the story: My little brother, Elijah, and I downloaded some bad stuff and it made our computer run slow...so we had to get our computer re-built and now we have Windows Vista. It's a cool program, it's basically like a boot-leg Mac, but still alright....but now I can't do anything. I can't go on blogger, I can't even open a Microsoft Word document....it's shitty!! It has all the "parental controls" on it. And we asked my "dad" why he did all that, since he is the one who re-built our computer, and he said it was an accident and he tried to make it so I couldn't download anything, but I can't do ANYTHING. So that's the story.

Oh and in my last blog I said I'd be print modeling for a new line called Stola, well yea it's not called Stola, my bad! It's called SREYA. Or something like that....and I'll actually being doing a runway show before that in April. My mom is great support too. NOT! She told me that if I don't lose weight, I wouldn't be in the runway show. She's right to some extent, but damn! Mothers are suppose to be supportive!!

Also, I said I would put more pictures in my blog that way it wouldn't be so boring. I promise I will, for sure, next time. And hopefully, that will be tomorrow. And if I do, it will be about my easter, even though it was a long time ago.

Last but not least,
Bar Shoma Mobarak!
Persian new year was March 20th!

Secret: Farsi yekami baladam.

------> I know a little persian.

Anyways,
Until next time...

Picture Edited by Sonali

2008-03-08T23:53:00.000-08:00

I think this picture is tight! [yea, I know no one uses that word anymore, but whatever]Edited by mi chica, Sonali. She tops Tundaes's editing skills by ten times!

No Freakin' Time!!!

2008-03-08T23:38:00.000-08:00

When I started this blog, I didn't realize how much time I'd have to put into; and apparently, it's a lot. I don't see how people do it! Anyhow, I haven't been up to much lately; work, school,taking care of the kid...that's all. Living my glamorous life. I know. lol. But I do have some good news (well for me)... I'm finally going to get myself going into real estate!!! I have a hook-up, thanks to my lovely boss, George, and his wife, Madalene. And also, I'm going to [print model] guy clothes for an upcoming line called Stola...after I lose a couple pounds of course. So I'm pretty excited about that, but it'll be a while, because they just started, I guess what you would call "printing", their clothes about 3-4 weeks ago. Oh, and I heard our prom theme is Candyland, and that actually makes me want to go in theme for once. And if I do, it will be the greatest thing evreyone has ever seen. That's all I'll say about that. Anyways, That's pretty much all that's new with me.
Until next time.

p.s. I'll eventually get pictures, so my blog won't be as boring anymore.

You blog?WHAT!?

2008-02-04T16:21:00.000-08:00

YupYup
I'm an official blogger now!Now that I have a blogspot I can not only keep everyone updated about my exciting life[lol], but I can also post bad pictures about my friends and then write"yuck." Seriously though, I will post a lot of pictures that I take , and I will blog about subjects that I feel could lend others insight and a little bit about me and my life.
Well, that's all for now....
Until next time.