Friday, October 7, 2011


ever since i can remember, ive had a love for space and the ocean

but the ocean gives me an eerie vibe everytime i think about going any further than beach, and idk why..

but space, i have so much more wonder for...
which led me to want to be an aerospace engineer, which ties my love of mathematics, sciences and space together. i literally wanted to be a rocket scientist.

but Fuck school. 

no one can credit my knowledge or what i know, and stick a value on it.
the gov't wants ppl to think that unless they pay to go to a school thats accredited by them, and graduate, then u aint makin $$$. but believe what you wanna believe *shrug

i just dont condone the education system; and im lazy af. if i find something to be uninteresting, then it automatically has the magical quality of putting me to sleep.

and if anyone watched Steve Jobs' commencement address to Stanford(?) he straight up starts off by saying he didnt graduate college. he said he dropped out, and began taking classes he was actually interested in. i guess he sat in on classes that HE wanted to learn about, and for free.

but anyways, back to my topic, space.

along with my love for space, mathematics, and science, also comes my love for aircraft.

everytime i hear a plane or helicopter, my eyes look to the sky.

in particular, the sound of air particles being divided, then smashing back into each other at an accelerated pace, and a high altitude has always been fascinating to me. the sound captivates my being into a state of temporary paralysis from awe.

and i draw perfect five -point stars. this comes from years of filling up pices of notebook paper with them.
and my mom use to bitch at me like wah wah 'why do u like stars so much? u thought ur mom was a star?' wah wah wah
[i'll never forget that she said that. kinda a low blow]

but i said, idk, i just do. which was true.

anyways, this brings me to Patrick.
not that anyone reading this would know him, but i still miss this dude.

  Patrick is one person i will never forget. he was my mastermind in crime, if me and him put our minds together, we could take over the world.

and Patrick was the first person to ever hand me a real piece of literature.
He was very well-read and knowledgeable. and before he handed me a book, i had to beg. and i mean BEG. over at least a couple of weeks before he gave me something to read. and he warned me before he gave me my book that it was a dark book, and to stay in the light while i read it.

and indeed it was a dark book. for if in the wrong hands, darkness would prevail.

but i loved it.
and along the way, Patrick introduced me to a lot of books. most of which, he would not me even  let me touch, but only shared excerpts.

and one book i asked him about, he said he had read, but that was all he ever told me about it.
that book was Dianetics be L. Ron Hubbards
so in the past week, this book, along with others, popped into my mind.
so i search for this book, and on the Dianectics website i put in my info to be sent an excerpt.

so i get a call from the Church of Scientology down the street, they invite me in to show me around.
so tonight i made an 8-block walk there to meet Barbara.
basics: Scientology, is the study of knowledge. dianetics is the science of mental health.

she showed me videos, we talked, and i filled out some papers, blah blah blah
but all i really wanted to see was a excerpt from the book.

the book was there, and they had like 20 other books by him, but i didnt get a good look. i just read the table of contents and a page or two, and the summary, but i thirsted for more.

so i asked the lady so many questions that i think i confused her lol
but anyways, i want to get the book, and another book, but perhaps, it may be one or other, or none at all. i'll see.

...and the sad thing about Patrick, is i have no idea where he's at right now. i mean i have a general idea, but i have no means of contacting him now. que triste.
but i know i'll run into him sooner or later so im not trippin

anyways be peace people.

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